~It Always Gets Better, No Matter What~

Sacrilege♥♥Yeah Yeah Yeahs
 

 

I'm sorry I'm not on anymore.
My laptop broke, so I am dependent on my phone. Thankfully, though, my mom is letting me use her laptop a bit.
 

Last week was absolutely shitty, but today was pretty good.
We started a new book in my reading class, and everyone keeps saying it's boring and pointless, but really love it.
It shows that perspectives are different, but changing just a few details can be dangerous.
idk, I just really like it so far.
 

And, we are going over the history of Rock N' Roll in history.
I'm not a big fan of history, but this is my kind of lesson(:
 
So, formal is coming up again.
I don't know why we call it formal.
Basically it's like a prom, but for middle schoolers.
I mean, no one arrives in a limo or spends a thousand dollars... unless you're a rich kid.
My dress this year is long, and it's indigo, that purple-ish blue color.
It's got a jeweled one shoulder, and it's very pretty.
I'm not really one for the whole jewels-and-sparkles-everywhere dress, so it's a good, simple dress.
Anyways, so it's like a dream to have a boy actually notice me on his own and ask me, and this year, I think it may happen.
He's a grade below me, and we used to sing in chorus together. Our families are friends, and he's such a sweetheart :3
This guy is like really shy, though.
So lately, I've noticed he's been hanging around my group of friends after school, when he's usually where all the other seventh-graders are, like halfway across from my spot.
And today, after all my friends had left and I was waiting for my ride alone, he came and talked to me. He never really does that.
As a conversation starter, he thanked me for wishing him luck on something that happened a few months ago.
And then, he asked me if I was going to formal, and who I was going with,
I'm no reader of guys, and maybe I'm just crazy and getting my hopes up for nothing, but I think he was just about to ask me.
But then, my ride pulled in, and I had to leave.
I would talk to him tomorrow, but I'm leaving school early.
I get my bottom braces on (yay.), and I'm going to the mall afterwards to get a pair of earrings and maybe a ring or bracelets for formal.
 

I'm just in a really good mood right now.
:)

Bruised and Scarred ♥♥ Mayday Parade
 

Do I even have to apologize for my lack of talent?
I don't see the point in trying, because it's obvious I'm not good enough.
Oh, well.
 

Here's a survey.
Whoo.
I don't know what I'm doing with my life.
 

 

 
1 - Who was the last person you texted? - Sarah

2 - When is your birthday? - August 16th
 
3 - Who do you want to be with right now? - No one, really..
 
4 - What sports do you play? - That's a joke, right?
 
5 - Who is the first person in your contacts? - My cousin Abbi.

6 - What is your favorite song as of the moment? - Hmm.... idk. I've been listening to The Hunger Games soundtrack lately. And Breathe Me//Sia.
 
7 - If you were stranded on an island, who do you wish to be with? - Someone who actually cares, and doesn't find me annoying.
 
8 - What do you feel right now? - I'm hungry. But every time I reach for food, I see the cut on my wrist. And I feel fat and worthless and undeserving.
 
9 - What chocolate is your favorite? - ...
 
10 - How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have? - HA. Quit with the jokes.
 
11 - Why did you create a Polyvore account? - I was a very stupid eleven year old who made fan fiction, and I wanted to create outfits for the characters. God, why?
 
12 - Who is your favorite person here? - Bridget
 
13 - Where do you want to be right now? - Far, Far Away
 
14 - What do you want to be in the future? - I'd love to be an actress, but I want to be a teacher.

15 - When was the last time you cried? Just a bit ago.
 
16 - Are you happy? - No.
 
17 - Who do you miss? - My sisters, my other family, her, him, everyone and no one.
 
18 - If you were given a chance, would you like to have a different life? - HELL YES, if I could still meet B.
 
19 - What was the best thing you were given? - Love.
 
20 - Who was the last person who called you? - My mom.
 
21 - What is your favorite dish? -
 
22 - Who is your bestfriend? - Bridget.
 
23 - What is your biggest regret? - too many to choose from.

25 - Who do you spend crazy moments with? - I don't even know.
 
26 - Name someone pretty. - you
 
27 - Who was the last person you hugged? - idk.
 
28 - What kind of music do you listen to? Rock, alternative rock, or indie alternative.
 
29 - Are you over your past? - I should be.
 
30 - Who is the last person in your contacts? - Mackenzie W.
 
31 - What kind of person do you want to date? - Someone who won't judge me.
 
32 - Do you have troubles sleeping at night? - Every night..
 
33 - From whom was the last text message you received? Sarah
 
34 - What do you prefer, jeans or skirt? - jeans
 
35 - How’s your heart? - Hurting.
 
36 - Did you ever have a girlfriend/boyfriend whose name starts with a “J”? - ...
 
37 - Do you like someone as of the moment? - Actually, no.
 
38 - What would you want to say to your latest ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend? - Really?

39 - Do you have any phobias? - Fire. Being home alone.
 
40 - Did you try to change for a person? - Who hasn't?
 
41 - What’s the nicest thing have you given to someone? - Love and Friendship.
 
42 - Would you go back to your previous relationship? - Please stop with the relationship questions.
 
43 - Are you in a good or bad mood? - Neither of those words describe it.
 
44 - Name someone you can’t live without. - Bridget.

45 - Describe your dream date. - Carnival, amusement park, or boardwalk on the beach, at night.

46 - Describe your dream wedding. - No, thanks. I don't want to think about weddings.
 
47 - How many roses did you receive last Valentine’s? - The same number of relationships I've been in.
 
48 - Have you ever been kissed? - No.
 
49 - How long is your longest relationship? - I'm getting sick of these -.-
 
50 - Do you regret your past? - Yes.
 
51 - Can you do something stupid for someone else? - Yeah.

52 - Have you ever cried over someone? - Too many times.
 
53 - Do you have a grudge against anyone? - Yes, but I don't show it.
 
54 - Are you a crybaby? - I hope not. If I am, please kill me. I give you permission.

55 - Do people praise you for your looks? - I'm no pretty flower, sorry to disappoint.
 
56 - Did you fall for someone you shouldn’t? - Nope.
 
57 - Have you ever done something bad but you don’t regret? - if I think hard enough, probably. But nothing is coming to my mind currently.
 
58 - Do you like getting hurt? - what kind of question is this?
 
59 - Does anyone hate you? - Yeah. Me, and a lot of other people.
 
60 - Did you slap anyone whose name starts with an “R”? - Nope.
 
61 - What hair color do you prefer? - For me, my natural color. Anyone else, it's their choice.
 
62 - If you can change anything about yourself, what is it? - My everything.
 
63 - Do you love someone as of the moment? - No.
 
64 - Have you ever thought of killing yourself? - That is honestly the only thing I have thought about this week.
 
65 - Do you have issues with somebody in your school? - Yes.
 
66 - Can you live without internet? - No.

67 - What’s the song that remind you of your special someone? -
 
68 - Are you good at holding back your tears? - No..
 
69 - Are you a crybaby? - Didn't you already ask this?

70 - Have you ever experienced being hysterical? - I really don't know.
 
71 - Are you a KPOP fan? - Nope. Sorry.
 
72 - Do you study hard? - I studied for THREE hours on my last history test. Yeah, I study pretty hard.
 
73 - Have you ever sacrificed something important to you for someone you love? - Yes.
 
74 - Did you ever had a kiss under the moonlight? - oh my god. why are relationships always the majority of surveys and stuff?
 
75 - Have you ever ridden a boat? - Yeah. I live by a lake, of course I have.
 
76 - Did you have an accident last year? - No.
 
77 - What kind of person are you? - A damn awful one. What kind of person cuts themselves? What kind of person starves themselves? Well, that's what kind of person I am. I'm sorry.
 
78 - Have you ever thought of killing someone? - No
 
79 - Have you ever been jealous? - Who hasn't?
 
80 - How can you prove your love to someone? - Show you fucking care, instead of leaving them out and making them feel alone.
 
81 - What are you thinking right now? - You're such a fucking disappointment. No one even cares about you. You're worthless.
 
82 - Who is the 6th person in your contacts? - I don't even know. And I don't want to grab my phone.
 
83 - Do you have any memories you want to erase? - Again, who doesn't?
 
84 - Have you been hurt so bad that you can’t find words to explain how you feel? - Pretty much every day.
 
85 - Did you ever badmouth someone? - Everyone has at some point. It's a human thing. I feel horrible for doing it, though.
 
86 - Have you ever had an argument with someone? - Again, human thing.
 
87 - Do you have trust issues? - Definitely.
 
88 - Are you broken-hearted? - Not over a boy.
 
89 - Who’s the person who first comes to your mind when someone mentions “love”? - The ones I love.
 
90 - Do you think all the pain is worth it? - I don't know. I'm trying to decide.
 
91 - Do you believe in the phrase “If it’s meant to be, it will be”? - Yeah, kinda.
 
92 - Who do you want to marry? - Josh Hutcherson. No, I want to marry someone who loves me, and someone I love.
 
93 - Do you believe in destiny? - Kinda.
 
94 - Have you ever thought “I already found my soulmate”? - Nope.
 
95 - How do you look right now? - Shitty as always.
 
96 - Do you believe that first true love never dies? - Yeah.
 
97 - Have you found your true love? - Nope.
 
98 - What should you be doing right now? - Uh... sleeping.
 
99 - Name one of your ex-boyfriends/ex-girlfriends. - last one. I thought I was going to lose my mind. oops, I already have (:
 
100 - Did you ever feel like you’re not good enough? - Every. Single. Damned. Day.
 

Okay, then.
Night.

I don't get it.
Why do the people who deserve to live, die?
 

 
There's a girl in my county who has been battling cancer for over two years.
Last week, she was told that she would die within six weeks, and it's inevitable. There's nothing they can do.
It spread throughout her body, including her heart.
She's only fourteen.
She's strong. She's stronger than I could ever imagine being.
And she's so beautiful and loved.
And she died this morning.
RIP Kate♥
 
I know this little.. story or whatever you want to call it... was meaningless, but words can't describe the emotions I'm feeling.
I'm sad over it, but not in the way most people are.
 

 
I want to die.
It really wouldn't matter if I died.
We were discussing my not-eating habits, and one of my friends told me I could die from it.
I wanted so bad to look her in the eye and say "Only if I'm lucky."
It's the truth.
I could die, and no one would care.
And you can tell me different, but I know it would be like that.
If my friends would mourn, then why are they always acting like I'm a freaking ghost or something?
 
I feel fucking worthless and so unwanted.
 
I'm sorry.

I sold my soul to the open road
 
The Downfall of Us All♥♥A Day To Remember
 

 
I was actually going to attempt a decent set.
But I got bored and frustrated and sad.
 

I feel like I want to just scream and cry.
I feel so awful, I can't fucking stand it.
I feel like I'm losing my fucking mind.
I feel hopeless.
I feel like I'm already dead.
I just want to give up.
I only have three and half more days of school until break, since I have to leave school early Thursday to go to the orthopedic clinic.
I get my cast off, but I'll probably have to get another one on.
Fun :/
 
I really don't know how long I'll last.
I'm trying not to feel like this, but I'm struggling.
I'm sorry.

They believe it when I say that it's only animal scratches.
They believe my lies.
I guess I should be happy.
 

 

Some days, I'm... well, close to okay. I'm never truly okay.
But then there's days when I just want to die.
Like today.
I don't see a point in getting better.
I won't succeed in life.
I'll only fail.
I'll only crash and burn.
That's all I ever do now.
 

 
I really want a new book series to read, or even just a book.
I want to sit down and be swallowed by text.
I want to live in another person's life.
Honestly, I just want to escape from this pit of fiery hell most people call our world.
I'm sick and tired of it all.
I just want to disappear.
 

 
I'm so sorry.
I'm sure my apology is ignored, but
I'm really sorry for being so broken all the time.

Dog Days Are Over♥♥Florence + The Machine
 
Just a quick set, yet again.
I do put effort into it.
A little, but still some.
I just suck at creating anything beautiful, anyways.
 

 

I fucking hate superlatives.
We got to vote today, and I was in two categories.
Most Studious and Most Likely to Succeed.
Pushing aside my absolute hate for these superlatives (best looking? I mean, come on. That's just pushing insecurity for those who aren't chosen.),
I really want to win Most Likely to Succeed.
I don't know.
Maybe it will just give me some small hope that a screwed up, insecure girl like me may actually live and grow into someone remotely successful.
Right now, I feel like shit.
I want to die.
I want to scream, cry, hurt myself, etc.
I just.. really want an escape.
Anyway, I really do want it.
Just some small hope.
But the thing is, though, I won't.
It isn't possible.
This girl I'm up against...
she's everything I'm not.
She's athletic, while I trip over my own foot.
She's skinny, I'm fat.
She has gorgeous curly hair, while my hair is blah.
She's bright. She makes better grades than I do. She studies more.
She can actually eat lunch while I find it difficult just being in the cafeteria. I can't even look at food without feeling sick now.
She's an honest Christian, while I struggle with going to church.
She was in homecoming, for God's sake.
She's the closest to perfect you can really get.
And I'm insecure, annoying, self-harming, and cliche.
There's no way I could even dream of winning.
 

 
I'm sorry.
I know I sound selfish and bratty.
It's just... I hear them in the hall. I see the looks they give me.
I don't fit in, and I never will.
I'm always going to be the odd one cast out to the side.
I need something to prove to me that life is worth living,
because right now,
things aren't looking good.
Everyday, I'm just managing.
Not even managing, really.
I'm just dragging through.
And I'm always hearing high school is worse.
 

I just don't know how much longer I can take isolation.
I'm so sorry.
 

You don't have to speak to me.
You don't have to ask me how I am.
Explaining it isn't going to help.
Thank you, though.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I can't take it, that I'm just breaking and that I'm worthless.
I am nothing.
And if I'm not, then why do I feel like this?

Breathe Me♥♥Sia
 

I'm really sleepy, but I don't want to sleep.
So I'll do these surveys.
.
 


A-ALBUM YOU LAST BOUGHT: Babel, Mumford and Sons

B-BAND NAME: Mayday Parade

C-CELEB CRUSH: Josh Hutcherson♥

D-DRINK YOU LAST HAD: sprite

E-EARLIEST MUSICAL MEMORY: i honestly don't even know.

F- FAVORITE SONG ABOUT LOVE: love is stupid.

G-GUY BANDS OR GIRL BANDS: both, but guy bands are more common.
 
H: HAPPY SONG?: ...god, my music is depressing.

I- INLOVE WITH ANY BANDS LATELY?: Florence + The Machine (Well, I was obsessed about a year ago, and I've found my way back.)

K-(best) KISSING SONG: I didn't know that there were songs that you could kiss to. I mean, I'd much rather listen to and enjoy the music than have my lips on someone else's, which, by the way, is a very odd gesture of compassion.

L- LONGEST CONCERT: ... sigh...
 
U-UGLIEST BAND (AS IN MUSIC): Fake is ugly. That's the only way.

v- VEGETARIAN?: I love chicken.

W- WORST GULITY PLEASURE?: ...
 
X- X RAYS YOU'VE HAD: My chest (when I was a baby), and my teeth.

Y-YEARS BEING AWESOME: 0. But I am 13 years old.
 
Z- ZOO ANIMAL: PENGUIN

RANDOM QUESTIONS

-Unicorn Name?: Shimmer? idk.
 
-Sex Song?: Elmo's World definitely {I'm sorry, but this answer is absolutely perfect, B.}

-Favorite Condiment?: I'm not one for any, really.

-Place you would live in?: I like Tennessee, but can I PLEASE (I'm begging you) live in a different town?
 
-Favorite Ice Tea?: I don't like tea.

-Crowdsurfing or moshing? NO MOSHING.

-Fruity Gum or Minty Gum? Either, really.

-Crunchy or Chewy CHips Ahoy?: Chewy, of course.

-Best Video Game?: COD: Black Ops
 
-White or black?: Black.
 
THE DO'S
Do you like this quiz?: sure. I'm kind of out of it while filling it out, but it's cool.

ABOUT YOU:
What are you wearing?: Pierce the Veil tee and yoga pants. I don't like socks, therefore I will not wear them at home.

Necklaces?: I don't wear jewelry much, but I do like necklaces. (and I just realized I left my necklace in my friend's car. darn.)
 
Bracelets?: I am currently wearing an infinity bracelet.
 
Your eye color: brown. Just boring old brown.

Your hair color?: dark brown.
 
Short or long hair?: Long. It's a pain with curly hair, but it suits me better.
 
Height?: 5'6"

Nail Polish?: Blacks, Blues, Purples, Reds, or Silver.

Awesomeness?: Me? I am not awesome.

Earings?: Earrings bother me. I do like them (and I got these really pretty silver anchor earrings today), but I don't wear them often.

round two

1. If you could be any celebrity, who would you be and why?

Emma Stone. I like Emma Stone.

2. What is your astrological/zodiac sign and do you think it is accurate for you?

Leo.
I thing most of it is correct (I am stubborn and loud at times), but I am the TOTAL OPPOSITE of confident.

3. What is your most embarrassing memory?

Too many to pick from.

4. Night owl or morning person?

Neither. Though I lean more towards morning person.

5. What is your favorite body feature of yours and why?

...don't even. just don't.

6. Favorite flower?

I've never really taken time to observe each flower, but I really love red/orange tiger lilies. They bloom here in the summer, and only for like.. a week, so they're easy to miss, but so gorgeous.

7. Would you rather only be able to drink for the rest of your life (including smoothies and shakes) or only be able to eat for the rest of your life?

Drink.

8. Favorite youtube video?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzhAS_GnJIc
The song and the music video just tie together and it's so... beautiful.

9. Would you rather be an animal or stay human; if you would rather be an animal then what animal?

I'd rather be some sort of wild animal that doesn't make interaction with humans because I dislike people.

10. Favorite movie?

The Perks of Being a Wallflower

11. What is your favorite kissing style?
 
kissing is a pretty weird thing. Seriously, what is so special and nice about connecting your lips with someone else's?

-round three-

1. if you could be any age you wanted, what would it be?

Can I be five for a while longer? And then go back to thirteen after a bit?

2. grossest thing youve ever eaten?

school food.

7. last thing you ate?

ice cream... (and a bunch of other sweets that I am going to beat myself up over, because it was a birthday party. And all that food means I'll just skip eating entirely tomorrow, probably.)
 
8. pet peeve?

When people make fun of other people because they're different.

9. favorite book?

That is an impossible question!
....seriously, though. I have read and loved so many books.

10. if you had a chance to start a new life and totally erase your old one, would you?

If it meant I could still have met her, then yes. There's no doubt in my mind I would.

11. something you look forward to?

I don't even know anymore, actually. I'm just trying to make it through today.
 
-asdfghjkl;-

1. what is your dream proposal?
I don't want to be specific on this. All I ask is that the guy doesn't make a huge public deal over it, but it not be the rose petal/candlelight classic. Be a bit creative.
 
2.zombies or pirates?
Zombies. Their faces are cool.
 
3. who is your favorite superhero? (real or fictional)
I don't really know.
 
4. do you still dress up for Halloween?
Yes, and I am not ashamed. It's fun! And I will enjoy my youth while it lasts.
 
5. do you travel a lot?
No. I go to school every day, maybe go to the mall (which is thirty minutes away), but that is to only traveling I really do.
 
6. what is your favorite thing to do at a campfire?
S'MORES
 
7. if you could go anywhere in the world where would you go?
I never know what to answer this question with.
 
8. what's the first thing you'd do if you were stranded on an island?
Panic, probably.
 
9. what is your favorite animal?
And owl, fox, or dolphin.
 
10. if you had your own nation, what would be on its flag?
A tree. Because it branches out into so many things.
 
11. what is your favorite type of art?
Every type. Music, Writing, Paintings, people. Everything/Everyone is beautiful art.
 

(I was tagged by @only-hum4n for all of it, and I want to do these questions,too)
 
1. do you like trains?
Sure. I live by a railroad track (like, right down the road), so I'm basically immune to the noise.
 
2. who is your favorite YouTuber? (I know I'm evil)
You evil girl.
AmazingPhil or Danisnotonfire
 
3. are you a tea drinker?
I may be southern, but that shit is nasty.
 
4. what is the first thing you think of when you hear 'radioactive'?
Summer, youth, the window rolled down, the sun tinted from my sunglasses. Freedom.
 
5. have you ever asked out a guy? if not, would you?
No, I have not. I probably never will. I'm not confident enough. It takes insane courage.
 
6. butterflies or dragonflies?
Butterflies all the way, even though dragonflies are beautiful, too.
 
7. if you could save one book from a burning library, which book would it be?
Oh my God. You can't just ask that. No. Unacceptable.
 
8. if you could be represented by a mug, what would be on it?
A circle. Representing emptiness. (I know, how optimistic, huh?)
 
9. how many piercings do you have? how many do you want?
2 (because my doubles grew up). I want 5 or six (Four ears, belly, and possibly a nose stud)
 
10. if you were to have 2 kids, what would you want their genders to be?
Boy and then girl.
 
11. what's the weirdest thing a teacher has ever told you?
You think that would be easy. But I was gifted with weird (but awesome) teachers, so weird things are told often. I can't choose.
 

-my questions, even though I'm not tagging-
 
1. What was the last lie you told(shame on you)?
2. How do you vent your anger?
3. Tell me, what is the meaning of life to you?
4. Have you ever caught a butterfly?
5. Do you trust easily?
6. What are your insecurities(just if you're comfortable enough to say them)?
7. What comes to mind when you see the word endless?
8. Who has been on your mind lately?
9. What's your greatest weakness?
10. What's your greatest strength?
11. If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?
 

 
And now, I can feel my eyelids falling.
I better get to sleep.
Goodnight, lovelies♥

(It is so difficult to even attempt a lazy set in the polyvore app)
 
I just wanted to express a thought.
 
I don't want to sleep. I'm tired of sleeping.
I want to stay up all night and just talk. Just endlessly chatting about things that don't even matter.
And school ruins that.
Meh.
 

I know this was irrelevant and a waste of time.
I don't really care, to be honest.
At this point, I don't care.
 
The only thing that can make me happy is for people to stop treating me like I'm a piece of lint on their shoulder.
 
And for people to stop making fun of others be cause they act different.
 
It fucking sucks to be the one made fun of.

Miles Away♥♥Memphis May Fire (featuring Kellin Quinn)
 
This song is absolutely beautiful.
I just love it.
I find it incredible and amazing and perfect.
 

Whoo, snow day!
I really love snow days.
It's nice to just relax for a bit.
 
Surveys ahead!
 

24. What is your eye color?
brownish hazel.
 
25. Can you taste the difference between Pepsi and Coke?
Kinda. I dislike both.
 
26. What's your favorite kind of ice cream?
strawberry or chocolate chip cookie dough
 
27. Describe the outfit you wore yesterday.
plain, black camisole under a really cozy gray & black striped sweater, medium wash jeans, and my black Vans.
 
28. Do you wear makeup?
On special occasions, mostly. I wear eyeliner when I go to the mall, which is probably like less than once a month or so. And I wear eye-shadow every so often.

29. What's your favorite food?
I don't even want to think about food.
 
30. What's your favorite song at the moment?
Uh... Runaways by The Killers or Miles Away by Memphis May Fire, for now anyways.

round two!

1. name; Caitlin
 
2. something that not many people know you own;
A giant teddy bear my uncle gave me for my sixth or seventh birthday.
 
3. what you're eating/drinking right now; Nothing. I just... can't eat.

4. favourite piece of jewellery or clothing;
Well, there's my infinity necklace and then there's my mint green lace dress that I adore...

5. your current desktop background; either a black-and-white photo of a butterfly, or a drawing of a ship with the quote "A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor."
 
6. your favourite poster on your wall; my walls are bare at the moment because I'm saving up money to redo my room, which will take a while since I have to buy summer clothes and swimwear for the week at the beach, and I have to save up money for when I go to the beach.
 
7. your favourite thing that you own; My Dr. Martens, with the floral print on the inside
 
8. Your favourite CD and/or DVD; too many to even consider.
 
9. the last person you talked to; I said about two sentences to my mother this morning.

10. what do you think is your best facial feature; ha. That's a joke, right?

11. are you loud or quiet when you're mad/upset/etc: I vent on tumblr/polyvore, but in person, I'm silent.
 
12. who's the last person you hugged; I don't even know, really. I don't really like hugs, to be honest. I'm not really able to get close to people.

13. favourite movie; Right now? The Perks of Being a Wallflower

14. three things you'd like to say to someone that you've been hiding;
 
When I say I hate myself, I mean it.
I hate every inch of my body, every inch of my soul.
I feel dead.
I want to be dead.
Because I don't deserve anything but death and pain.
I sure as hell don't deserve a friend like you.
I'm sorry for hurting you and pushing you away.
I'm sorry.
 
15. who is the last person you kissed; I've never kissed anyone.
 
16. did you think of a certain person when asked #15? No. I mean, I have a crush. But he would never like me back. I don't even want to get my hopes up the tiniest bit.
 
17. you can have one of the follow two things, Love or Trust? Trust. How can you love someone without trusting them?

18. when was the last time you told someone honestly how you felt, regardless of how difficult it was; A long time ago. I can't help holding things back. I just can't gather the words to express my emotions. Plus, my problems are unimportant, and my words would simply be a waste of time.
 
19. name the five main things you look for in a guy; musical, intelligent, humorous, kind, and loving.

round two

 

1) always post rules
2) answer the questions the person who tagged you has written and write 11 more
3) tag 11 new people

1. Books or movies?
Books. Most definitely books.

2. Your childhood idol/hero?
My mom.

3. What is your middle name?
...Rae.

4. Would you rather be shrunk to the size of a pencil and put in a blender, or forced to live the rest of your life as a toilet?
Pencil size and in a blender.

5. How weird are you on a scale from 1 to 10?
I'm probably in the middle.

6. If you could have any superpower, what would it be?
Reading minds. I really want to know what people are thinking about during the silence, and I really want to know what people are actually thinking when they speak to me.

7. If Hollywood made a movie about your life, whom would you like to see play the lead role as you?
I don't know, really.

8. What's your worst habit?
messing things up.

9. Can you fake any accents?
absolutely not.

10. If you could have an endless supply of any food, what would you get?
Savannah Smiles because those are the shit, man.
 
- @only-hum4n 's questions-

1. what's your favorite memory?
When I was like three, and my mom was playing with my toes, and I was eating poptarts, and the sun was shining through the window in this orange glow and I was laughing. It just reminds me of a happy, calm place.
 
2. best movie quote?
"I'll take the bow."
"....."
"I'm just kidding."
 
3. you have a one-way ticket to anywhere in the world; where would you go?
There are so many places.. I just don't know where to go.
 
4. what genre of books do you like?
Scientific Fiction//Mystery
 
5. when life gives you lemons what do you do?
Either a) make lemonade. b) throw them at people or c) make Savannah Smiles and cause people to die.
 
6. if you could be any animal, what would you be?
A bird, so I can peck people who annoy me.
 
7. you're a damsel in distress, what superhero do you want to save you?
Spiderman.
 
8. if you made up your own language what would you call it?
Catish.. eh, idk.
 
9. what is your OTP?
Malec, ftw.
(Magnus and Alec)
 
10. what is the first thing you would do if you were President? (or leader of your country?)
Have a panic attack.
 
11. if you got a tattoo, what would it be of?
A wolf. A small wolf on my shoulder or somewhere close to my heart. And a butterfly.

 
-my questions-
 
1. What book are you currently reading?
2. Are you excited for the release of any movies?
3. What's the quote that keeps you going?
4. The best place for a vacation?
5. If you could meet anyone who ever lived, who would it be?
6. Who is your role-model right now?
7. If you could see any band live, which one would you see?
8. Would your eight-year-old self be proud if they could see you now?
9. If you could be a character in any TV Show/Movie, what show/movie would it be?
10. What's your favorite music genre?
11. Have you ever traveled across seas?
 

now my tags;
 
I don't actually tag people because I'm a rule-breaker.
R E B E L.
Well, actually, I'm just lazy, and I have like one friend.
 

 

I'm allowed to bring a friend to the beach with me this summer.
I use the excuse that none of my friend's parents would ever let them stay a week out of state with someone they barely know.
But to be honest, I'm not comfortable enough to spend a whole week at a hotel with someone.

This is a really bad attempt of a set because I am lazy and I'm not even trying.
 

 

I just feel hopeless.
Like... my friends, we plan things to do.
Like next weekend, we're going to stay over and watch movies.
But my minds is always like 'if I can even make it until then.'
I feel like shit.
That's about the only way for me to put it into words.
I feel like complete and utter shit.
 

 
If I can make it to then, I want to go to formal this year.
I know last year was complete disaster, but this year, we're in eighth grade.
We're on top for now.
Might as well enjoy it.
I know it's a waste to spend all that money on a dress and shoes and jewelry and all that, but I think it would help somehow.
Self confidence, maybe.
I don't know.
I don't know if I can even make it to May.